This week, I will continue the series I started last week, talking about tips you can implement today, both mentally and physically, to cushion the effects of the unexpected unfortunate events that life throws at us occasionally.
Last week, I talked about the importance of developing a growth mindset in your approach to life, which includes viewing obstacles as opportunities to learn from and committing to daily growth so as not to miss the vast opportunities life has to offer.
If you haven’t read that article, you can find it here.
It’s a long read, but it’s worth every minute.
My next tip for mentally managing unpleasant situations is:
Don’t Take Things Personally
A lot of the unfortunate things that happen to us have nothing to do with us. The cruel boss who picks on you during your Monday meetings could have a sick child at home that drains her energy, and she is letting out some steam.
The man who brushed past you at the train station could be hurrying to a life-or-death situation.
Daily we come across people who have gone through trauma that has left them damaged and unable to relate to others properly.
I’m not saying these people are right, or that the unpleasant situations they cause are warranted. I still maintain that everyone has a responsibility to ensure their negative circumstances don’t negatively impact the society around them.
When I say don’t take things personally, what I really mean is do not let things that other people do or unpleasant events cause you to judge yourself or negatively alter your state of mind.
You may choose to take action by calling someone out when they act inappropriately around you or, depending on the situation, even report a rude customer service agent to their boss. As long as you leave ‘unpleasant ‘events exactly where they happened and do not give it another minute of thought, you have won.
As I always say, life happens to everyone. We are all going through something—deserved or undeserved—and our means of coping differ. And all you can do is allow people to be and not make it all about us.
You may even choose not to react but instead, just cut people some slack- forgive and forget as quickly as they happen.
I know it is easier said than done, but forgiveness in these cases sets you free from carrying the burden of unpleasant thoughts in your mind.
It is natural to go through the emotions of being upset briefly, but your ability to acknowledge unpleasant events for what they are and not take things personally is where your power lies.
So many things will happen that will make you second guess and torment yourself, but know this today:
Your mum didn’t leave you as a child because you were a burden; she left because she thought that was the best option she had at the time.
Your colleague isn’t rude to you because you are stupid; he was rude to you because he is having a bad day or is just plain rude.
You didn’t lose your job because you were bad at it; your company was just downsizing.
Your spouse didn’t hit you because you wronged him; he/she clearly lacks self-control. And it goes on and on and on.
By all means, reflect on lessons learned so you can take action and become better. But never look back at unpleasant events because you want to torment yourself with things that you have absolutely no control over.
Imagine a world where what people say or do have no effect on you. You will already be winning the game of life.
It’s like living in a bubble in the midst of chaos.
Watch as so much anger and envy disappear from your life.
Something that touched me this week:
On April 18th, 2024, Mandisa was found dead in her apartment. Mandisa was an American gospel and contemporary Christian recording artist who started her career as a contestant in the fifth season of American Idol.
I had never heard of her before her death. I stumbled upon her highest-performing single, ‘Overcomer’, on YouTube, and I have had it on repeat because of the powerful message it sends.
See the lyrics below.
I am sharing these words with you today: You can overcome anything because you are here for a reason.
LYRICS:
Staring at a stop sign
Watching people drive by
T Mac on the radio
Got so much on your mind
Nothing’s really going right
Looking for a ray of hope
Whatever it is you may be going through
I know He’s not gonna let it get the best of you
You’re an overcomer
Stay in the fight ‘til the final round
You’re not going under
‘Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it’s hopeless
That’s when He reminds You
That you’re an overcomer
You’re an overcomer
Everybody’s been down
Hit the bottom, hit the ground
Oh, you’re not alone
Just take a breath, don’t forget
Hang on to His promises
He wants You to know
The same Man, the Great I am
The One who overcame death
Is living inside of You
So just hold tight, fix your eyes
On the One who holds your life
There’s nothing He can’t do
He’s telling you
She talked openly in her podcast and memoir about her battle with depression after losing her close friend to breast cancer in 2014.
May her sweet soul rest in peace.
I am so excited that I can be part of your week and I hope that you are inspired each week to live intentionally and happily
Thanks for reading, chat with you next Sunday.
