On today’s newsletter, I will write about the grey-old monster in our way—FEAR.
I could write a million newsletters about fear—how it diminishes us and how we can eliminate it from our lives. I am passionate about this topic because living a fear-free life is Happiness 101.
Fear is dangerous. Living in fear is like being trapped in a prison, while living without fear allows you to pursue your dreams, have fewer regrets, and ultimately live the life of your dreams.
Everything we want is on the other side of fear.
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I want to share two ways you can approach fear.
Probe Your Fear
There are different types of fear, the most common of which is the “fear of failure.” A lot of our fears are insanely exaggerated; they are not as daunting as we think. Probing our fears allows us to peel back the layers and find out if we can handle what is underneath.
I remember in business school, I was really afraid of public speaking. It haunted me because I had so many intelligent things to say but never the courage to speak up. One day, I decided to probe my fears by asking myself some pertinent questions:
“Why am I afraid to speak up?” I want to impress these people sitting here in class and my professor.
“Why do you need to impress these people?” Well, I guess I want them to respect me, and hold me in high regard.
“Why do I need them to respect me?” And like a light bulb moment, I realized I might not even see these people again after grad school. And if the world is as busy as I know it to be, they probably wouldn’t even remember a few months or a few weeks from now. If somehow a few of them remember how I messed up in business school and think less of me, then that sucks for them because they don’t have anything else more important to think about.
And that was how I stopped caring and started speaking up.
From then on, Business School became a breeze.
I joined a team and went on to represent my school in one of the most prestigious case competitions in the US—the National Black MBA Case Competition—and won first place.
Dropping my fears gave me the opportunity to fully immerse myself in learning and allowed me to share my unique ideas. Sometimes I spoke very intelligently, and other times not much, but it didn’t matter. I was free of fear, and it felt good.
Face Your Fear Head-On
Facing fear head-on also means accepting that nothing lasts forever. If you’re afraid of losing your job, why not develop new skills?
I once lost my job, and in retrospect, it was the greatest blessing for my career. It was a fear I had to confront, and I emerged stronger on the other side.
I used that time between jobs to pursue professional photography, acquire new certifications in my field, learn about finance, optimize my long-term financial plan, and become an expert at interviews.
Now, four years later, everything I learned then has contributed to the best things I am and have today. The fear of losing my job is no longer part of my story. It took losing my job to face my fear head-on.
For those reading this, you don’t have to wait until you lose your job to explore alternative ways of sustaining yourself or creating a cushion if the inevitable happens.
Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears. Here are some of the most common fears that people have, and here are the truths about them:
- The fear of job loss: The truth is, we can always upskill and change our career path. The world is vast and full of opportunities. You will have to open up your mind.
- The fear of mortality: The truth is that life belongs to death. No one is leaving Earth alive. We will all die; it is only a matter of time.
- The fear of rejection: For every person who rejects you, there are a hundred thousand more who would be in awe of what you are about and can’t wait to meet you. This explains why some people on social media with unpopular paths garner so many followers.
- The fear of time: History is full of individuals who started late but achieved great success. Colonel Harland Sanders, the founder of KFC, started his company at the age of 65. Vera Wang designed her first dress at 40. Dorothy Steel’s acting career took off at 90 when she was cast in “Black Panther.” She passed away at 95. Can you believe that?
- The fear of imperfection (or not being good enough): Confidence only comes by doing. Take the first step. Start from where you are and with what you have. Do it afraid, and in no time, you will have a different story.
We should not allow fear to dictate our lives.
Take Action this Week
| Ask yourself today,‘ – What am I afraid of that stands between me and my dreams? – Why am I afraid? – What is the worst that can happen if I face that fear today? – What steps can you take to confront that fear? – With these questions answered you will be surprised at how exaggerated our fears are. |
You deserve to live a life free of fear!!!
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Everything always seems so much worse in the dark- so much worse when you don’t know what it is.
BOZOMA ST JOHN- THE URGENT LIFE
To overcome our greatest fear, we have to confront them, like a flashlight, and peering under the bed to ensure the boogieman isn’t there after all.
I am so excited that I can be part of your week and I hope that you are inspired each week to live intentionally.
Thanks for reading, chat with you next Sunday.
