Have you ever wondered why, despite all you’ve accomplished and the promising future ahead, you still find yourself staying up late at night, pondering why you don’t feel truly happy? And then, you go out into the world and see people who earn considerably less than you and may have faced greater hardships in life, living happily, tending to their work, and warmly engaging with everyone around them.
Every now and then, we observe that those with immense privilege struggle to find bliss, while others with very little breeze through life joyfully. If this isn’t evidence that happiness resides within rather than without, I don’t know what is.
In today’s newsletter, I will discuss the secret to living a beautiful life I wish I had acknowledged long before now. I will also share a unique method for tapping into this inner happiness to feel your happiest daily, regardless of the situation you find yourself in.
This secret can be coined into one word: Perspective.
The Power of Perspective
Life hinges on perspective. Happiness, to a large extent, is shaped by our mindset, which in turn is molded by our thoughts—and contrary to popular belief, we have complete control over our mindset and thoughts.
This can be a challenging concept to grasp, especially since we have tried at various times to attain happiness—maxing out credit cards on shopping sprees or engaging in extreme behaviors—all in pursuit of a mood boost, only to find them ineffective.
You might be asking, “If happiness is within me, why doesn’t it manifest when I need it most?”
The ability to tap into inner contentment, peace, and happiness, like many skills, requires practice. The first step in this journey is complete self-awareness and mastery of the mind through introspection, meditation, and a deep-seated desire for change.
Tools for Cultivating Happiness
- Self-awareness allows us to understand the root causes of our emotions, rather than merely reacting to them.
- Meditation has been instrumental in training my mind to control how I respond to external stimuli.
- Introspection has sharpened my ability to recognize these stimuli and respond to them with a renewed perspective, driven by a strong desire for positive change.
Merely wishing for a happier perspective isn’t sufficient. As you know, everyone desires happiness. The key lies in mastering tools of self-control and awareness, which can distinguish between profound sadness and unbridled joy in identical circumstances.
We must train our minds to perceive beauty in every situation, for beauty exists wherever we choose to see it.
Shifting Your Perspective
Next time we encounter something seemingly disagreeable, before we rush to judgment and critique, let’s pause and acknowledge any inherent beauty. Perhaps even smile about it.
This is your gateway to happiness.
Consider this scenario: A mother returns home to find her children running wild, creating chaos.
- One mother sees happy, lively children and appreciates the warmth in her home.
- The other sees a chaotic mess that will take hours to clean, with unruly children who deserve reprimand.
The first mother becomes frustrated, yelling and questioning why this is happening to her, descending into misery as she cleans and scolds her children. The second mother enters the scene understanding that this is life—full of ups and downs—and messy children are a part of that. She might choose to discipline her children or involve them in cleaning, viewing it as a teachable moment. She might even decide, “Why not join them in the mess and clean together tomorrow?” After all, there’s no rule stating your home must be spotless at all times. Above all, she sees the beauty in having lively, happy children.
My Personal Story: Finding Beauty in Chaos
I once lived near a bustling, noisy street in Austin, Texas. Despite planning to move as soon as my lease expired due to the noise, I couldn’t help but notice the colorful characters passing by daily. I witnessed lovers quarrel and reconcile—touching moments amidst the hustle. I saw people sprinting to catch buses, their relief palpable when they succeeded and disappointment evident when they missed.
It was a vibrant tapestry of life, capturing both the joys and sorrows. I felt alive, immersed in the beauty of those moments. While I eventually moved to a quieter place after my lease ended, that year remains a cherished memory. I chose to stop complaining and took control of my mind through meditation. I honed my observational skills to adopt a new perspective that allowed me to focus on beauty amid chaos.
“Happiness isn’t having everything, but making the most of everything.”
Even in Death, There Is Beauty
I have been asked: If you can find beauty in every circumstance, how then can you find beauty in the face of something as tragic as death?
The death of a loved one is extremely heartbreaking. Only those who have experienced it can speak of the pain involved. But I will tell you a short story.
A few years ago, I attended the funeral of a dear family friend who passed away at 40 after battling cancer for nine months. After the service, we gathered in a hall, where a video montage of her life played on a large screen. It felt as though she was with us, her spirit alive in our memories. In the midst of grief, my heart found solace, appreciating the privilege of sharing her life, however brief. Later that evening, around a bonfire, we shared stories, each recounting a cherished memory with her, celebrating her life. Even in death, there’s beauty in a life well-lived, despite its brevity, and there is also the end of suffering from a ravaging illness.
As tragic as death is, it’s an undeniable part of life, a question of when rather than if. Therefore, we must approach each moment acknowledging life’s beauty, understanding that every moment we fail to do so is a moment lost.
Final Reflection: Make It Your Mission
If you find yourself in a difficult situation now, struggling to see its beauty, envision the beautiful story this moment will tell once you’ve overcome it—because you will. These stories are the essence of the most poignant memoirs and inspiring TEDx talks.
Seeing beauty in situations doesn’t mean condoning them or accepting them completely; it’s your way of acknowledging reality’s imperfections without losing the drive to take action. This mindset leads to happiness.
Make it your mission today to discover beauty in everything you encounter.
